The Plymouth Men’s Retreat: What is it they do over there?
As many of you might be aware, the annual Plymouth Men’s Retreat and Men’s Silent Retreat are happening this coming weekend over at Pilgrim Firs, our U.C.C. Conference camp and retreat center on the Kitsap Peninsula, near Port Orchard. Year after year, we see between 25 to as many as 65 Plymouth Men gather to …? ,,, to what?
Again: “What is it they do over there?”
One way to get after that answer is to start with a bit of history. In the fall of 1985, the Women of Plymouth – being generally more evolved than, and clearly a step ahead of the Plymouth Men – came up with the idea of holding the first Plymouth Women’s Retreat, led by our then Associate Pastor Liz Oettinger. They had a fabulous time of it! It worked so well, in their enthusiasm they booked an immediate followup retreat for the spring of 1986. It turned out, though, that they were not then able to use that date.
So Jon Palmason, aided and abetted by Chick Gherke (Liz’s husband) and Tom Colwell, got to thinkin’ “Heck, we can do that!” Jon, in his best Founding Father role, grabbed the reservation at Pilgrim Firs, led what planning there was, and off we went for the first Plymouth Men’s Retreat.
Getting now to the question “What is they do over there?” We had no idea!
None of us had ever done anything like this, and we got stuck for a while on the idea that, since we were, after all, Men, off by ourselves, we should probably talk about Women. That didn’t hold up real well. We do a lot of that, of course, but as a retreat anchor, it just has no staying power. We got some very able, pivotal help at that time from David Morris (husband of then Plymouth Associate Susan Yarrow-Morris) on the first several go ‘rounds, and thankfully moved on into other areas of concern and discovery.
Over the years, we figured it out. Men – again, I’m thinking the Women of Plymouth knew this about themselves from the get-go – want and need to be in relationship with each other (…but don’t say that out loud). The Women were very good at simply going off into the woods and sharing their lives, their hearts, even their souls. Men? Not so skilled.
So the pattern for the Men’s retreat became: 1) have a compelling leader, 2) come up with a reasonable program and a hopefully snappy title, 3) get everyone over there, 4) run the program, 5) make sure the program doesn’t get in the way, so that 6) we can share our lives, our hearts, even our souls, spending real time together in caring, deep relationship with other Men. For years, it was essential that no matter what else you do: DO NOT let anyone know ahead of time about step #6!
Along the way we’ve had as topics and leaders:
• “The Mundane and the Mystical: A Time for the Spirit”, w/David Morris
• “Who (or What) is God … REALLY?”, w/Hubert Locke
• “Marks of God in the Human Experience”, w/Dick Kroll
• “Relationships: with Fathers, Sons and God”, w/Tony Robinson
• “This Is Our Life”, w/Lincoln Reed
• “With what am I in love …?” w/Tom Stiers
• “A Sense of Wonder …” w/Tom Colwell
Some of the questions from our annual retreat letter, framing our explorations and leading us into discovery and into the depth of who we are and how that matters, have included:
• Living moment to moment, within the pressure cookers of family, work, responsibility, how do we see the light? How do we live the Good News? How to we live into knowing God? Living at the level of the mundane, how do we approach the mystical?
• What if it’s all happened on purpose? What if what has often seemed random and directionless in our lives is, in fact, neither? And if we have been somehow prepared and built for something, what is it?
• Spirit – Inspiration – Spirituality: What is all this? What’s the difference between Spirit and God? Is there a difference? Does it matter? What is inspiration? How do we get ourselves some? Or is it something we don’t actually go out and ‘get’ but something that somehow ‘comes’? And spirituality – what’s that about? How do we do that? Or – perhaps – how does it do us? And, what difference might all this make in our daily lives? In actually living with Spirit?
• With whom do I walk? Who or what may be calling me into purposeful transformation? Am I a disciple – if so, of what? And where is – or isn’t – Jesus in all of this?
• Who or what are those people, relationships, things, concepts, values, activities, even toys, that claim us most deeply? For what do we work, are we willing to suffer, to sacrifice? Whose voice do we hear in a crowd? And how does our faith, God, the Spirit show up in all this?
• How does “Wonder” play out – appear and move you – in your life? How am I excited and involved in life? What is my anticipation for today? ,,,for tomorrow? …for next year? …for my life? What is that inspires – in me – a life that is worth living?
Over the years we have gotten better at it. Coming into the mix, and becoming very deep parts of the experience, have been our meals together, small group time, the Human Scattergram, walks around Lake Flora, reading by the fire place, naps, softball, soccer, some golf, open fellowship time on Saturday afternoon, cards, chess, the sharing of ourselves through physical symbol, considerable laughter, silence, and some tears, music and singing … a whole lot of music and singing, and self-generated worship. All of it creating both the container and substance of Men simply being with Men. It’s been good.
The Plymouth Men’s Retreat: What is it they do over there? They go off into the woods and share their lives, their hearts, even their souls (… but, shh! … don’t tell anybody!).
--Tom Colwell
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