Some years ago, Plymouth Church Council initiated the writing of a covenant of healthy relationships. This was an effort to honor that despite our best efforts to be church together, it is important to speak clearly and often that conflict is an ever-present reality. While in our hearts most have the best intentions, some of our behaviors can and do stand in the way of making right community. The ones who dare to join in are sometimes left isolated or disinvited, while we struggle to hold others accountable. Power dynamics and relationships make it even more difficult to navigate conflict and potentially divisive behaviors.
I offer our covenant today to remind us who we are and who we strive to be in faith. As a covenant people, Plymouth Church is challenged to honor one another, as the words from our Bible study covenant suggest, “…to listen attentively and respectfully…allowing each the opportunity to contribute.” Whatever and whoever we as Plymouth Church choose to be going forward will be affected by our choice to center community and the people who compose our congregation. We cannot move forward together with fractured relationships.
Our Covenant of Healthy Relationships
Ephesians 4:3, “Make every effort to maintain the unity of the spirit through the bond of peace.”
Preamble: We, the people of Plymouth Church United Church of Christ, seek to promote a community grounded in love, justice, and the Holy Spirit. We acknowledge that conflict is a natural part of our life in the church and that God is present with us as we work and grow together. We, as a people of faith, seek ways to speak the truth and to agree and disagree in love.
As individuals and as a congregation, we will strive to…
- Start with gratitude and respect for one another and trust our mutually good intentions.
- Communicate directly with one another to resolve conflicts.
- Listen respectfully and compassionately for understanding.
- Speak from our own experiences.
- Resist the impulse to attack and blame.
- Commit to working through conflict when it arises. Show up, both physically and spiritually. Engage and encourage others to engage.
- Reach beyond our own interests and be open to other points of view.
- Relinquish a culture of criticism. Accept imperfection.
- Seek and offer forgiveness.
- Commit to reconciliation and receiving grace.
- Hold each other accountable to this covenant. Affirm and nurture our relationships for the long term.
May there be truth-telling. May we tend to wounds, no matter how long ago they occurred, and may our priority be in binding together in love. May we long for our siblings, despite our differences—and because of what the differences can manifest in community. The Spirit is pulling us toward each other, and if we allow fear to subside, our church may be different, but whole! May it be so, -Rev. Dr. Kelle Brown