Poem: by Sam Neer 

December 26, 2018


Hook: The bible the bible
It’s never out of style
Although it’s been a while
Since God stank up the Nile
The bible the bible
From kingdoms to the tribal
Throughout mankind’s survival
There’ve been stories in the bible

Let’s begin the genesis, in fact, it’s the first one
to god created everything the earth the moon the sun
He made the earth botanical with plants that grow and crawl
And then he made some animals all creatures great and small
He made the dust and wind to gust and then his first son Adam
And Lilith didn’t work so well so eve became his madam
They lived inside the garden every day was chill and funky
The snake saw opportunity in eve getting the munchies
She ate some ripe forbidden fruit despite rules in place
God kicked em out of Eden to go find another space
They had a son named cain then another one named abel
Envious cain killed his brother mentally unstable
Then god made noah build a boat for animals of two
The boat would spare him in the flood so god would start a new let’s go

Let’s hop to the new testament to view the birth of christ
Say all you want bout mangers, but that place was fairly priced
Born on Christmas morning so I’d better grab a jacket
Well it happened in the summer so forget that imma scratch it
Three wise men came to jesus bringing incense gold and murr
Some versions of this story say those kings were saboteurs
Some say they steaked this baby out for a mad king named herod
The current king of Israel a land so dry and arid
He swore to kill this newborn king and then sustain his rule
But our man jesus got away and proved him quite the fool
He healed the lame and cured the blind with power from our god
Some say the methods that he used were often strange and odd
The Romans killed him Friday gee I don’t see how that’s good
He rose again on Sunday off his cross of nails and wood I said

When Jesus rose to heaven, he began the book of acts
The story’s viewed in many ways but first let’s get facts
Jesus’ disciples were to spread the name of god
The Israelites accepted this and joined up with the squad
When preaching words to foreigners the gap was rather slim
They spoke in tongues they didn’t know, and things were not so grim
But some folks wouldn’t hear it they thought disciples full of trash
And in the case of Stephen, these two sides would fiercely clash
One man wanted to silence them this man his name was Saul
But Jesus Christ appeared to him and changed his name to Paul
One Follower named Peter heard god let all join his church
He ate some food with Romans and god came down from his perch
So that’s a bit of holy book to keep you all in touch
Whenever we need help, we know that God will be our crutch.

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